I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
