She said her name was "party"
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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