what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
