I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
