We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
