yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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