so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
