i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She announced her abortion via fbk
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
