Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
