Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
