What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
