So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Who died my cat blue again?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
