We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
