I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
