i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
