so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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