Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
