Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Never let your siblings swipe right.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize