hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize