I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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