Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
