Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I have demons in me.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
