I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I did not marry a roomba.
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