God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The Olympian is in my bed
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
