Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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