he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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