high people should be assigned attendants
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize