i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
