Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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