What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
