exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
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