Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby

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(970): View more from Colorado

she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.

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(559): View more from California

You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.

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(212): View more from New York

I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.

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(585): View more from New York

Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.

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(515): View more from Iowa

I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.

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(302): View more from Delaware

May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?

(1-302): View more from Delaware

The honor would be all mine.

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