she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
