That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
