Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
