Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize