She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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