I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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