mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
