If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
