youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
