1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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