I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
