At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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