we're blogging at a bar
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
