so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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