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I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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