i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
