If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
