wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Congratulations! We have a period
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize