If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
