yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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