Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
