I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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