its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize