Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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