white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
