captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i drank out of a bidet.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
