I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize
