That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize