i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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