Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
