so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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