i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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