I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
