But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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