love makes seman taste better
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
