hotel room ftw
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
